Ask Dr. Vail: “I think New Year's resolutions cause more trouble than they are worth. Do you have any advice for me?”

Ask Dr. Vail ~

“Dear Doctor, I am trying to decide my New Year's resolutions for 2024. I want to lose some weight and know I should start saving for retirement. Exercising more is always a good idea, but I am unsure if I should bother this year. Every year, I make the same goals for the new year but quickly lose motivation. As a result, after a few weeks, I quit and am disappointed in myself.

I think New Year's resolutions cause more trouble than they are worth. Do you have any advice for me?”

Signed Same Old Thing, Year After Year

Dear Same Old Thing,

Almost everyone I know contemplates making New Year's resolutions. However, few people stay focused despite good intentions and establish new habits that stick. Most people who set "New Year's resolutions" lose motivation, give up and feel bad. Part of the problem is that people often do not realize it takes much longer than anticipated to establish a new habit. People are impatient— this delay in attaining their goals results in frustration and apathy. People give up, get disillusioned, and feel disappointed in themselves. This results in the desired habits 'resolutions'  not getting established. Research shows that making or breaking a habit takes at least twenty-eight days of active focus to develop a habit. Change is hard. By the fourth day, most people stop trying, get bored, give up, and feel bad about themselves. Feeling bad about yourself is the opposite reason to set a New Year's resolution! 

I recommend making New Life resolutions instead of New Year's resolutions. To do this, create a vision of the life you want to live and use your dream as a map to create an action plan for your best life. Making plans for your life is essential. This concept is similar to going on a trip; any road will do if you don't know where you want to go. Once you have a vision of the life you want, for example, a life where you carry less weight, have more money, and feel better because you are active and your blood is pumping, it becomes easier to find the motivation to follow your dreams when you know what you want to achieve. When you have a precise vision of the life you want for yourself,  the changes required to achieve your goals become apparent. This clarity makes it far more likely you will establish and maintain new habits necessary to reach your goals. Most people are unclear about what they truly want.

I believe New Year's resolutions are a good idea; however, maybe there is no need to make specific resolutions. Most people set similar goals for themselves every New Year anyway. People want to be healthier, take better care of themselves, indulge less in their vices, and make better choices. From a survival perspective, people tend to be 'selfish' and 'think about themselves first'; this is human nature. When people make New Year's Resolutions, they are typically self-focused and, by default, selfish. People often stop making an effort, don't follow through, and give up their dreams and goals because, unfortunately, it is easier to let yourself down than let others down. 

Behind every New Year's resolution is the fundamental desire to be better. 

By focusing on the greater good, we have the opportunity to extend our desire to be better far beyond ourselves. When we create a better life for ourselves, we create a better one for everyone, especially those around us. A powerful motivator that invites positive change is the desire to be a better version of yourself. Take it a step further and aim to be a better version of yourself for others.

When we better ourselves, we generate positive energy that profoundly impacts all living creatures and the world. Instead of making specific New Year's resolutions for 2024, I advise making a New Life resolution to be your best self. Be your best self for yourself, for others, and for the Earth. Look WAY beyond yourself and establish habits to be your best; focusing on the greater good makes it much easier to stay focused and achieve your goals. I would love for you to join me in sharing the same goals. Be better! Be your best!