The Holidays: Finding Joy in the Messiness—Embracing Moments of Light, Even When Life Feels Complicated
The holidays can bring a swirl of emotions—grief, stress, loneliness, or even the pressure to feel 'festive' when all you want is quiet. Despite the messiness and complexity, there are still meaningful opportunities for joy, genuine connection, and emotional healing.
This blog explores gentle ways to move toward joy without denying what’s hard. You’ll find simple rituals for slowing down, thoughtful and affordable gift ideas, and reminders that joy and sadness are allowed to coexist.
Create moments of holiday magic this year, rather than chasing an ideal that may not exist.
Connection Is the True Magic of the Season
We are wired for connection. Sharing space, laughter, or even a kind word with another person can help us feel calmer and more grounded.
Connection is often found in intentional moments. This does not necessarily mean a big family dinner or a packed schedule. It can be as small as:
Texting a friend you have not talked to all year just to say you are thinking of them.
Offering to walk someone’s dog together.
Dropping off cookies on a neighbor’s porch.
Volunteering at a local pantry and sharing a meal with others.
Checking in on elders and supporting those who may be vulnerable
Genuine moments of contact reassure your nervous system that you are not alone and that caring people are out there. This can be powerful medicine during the holiday season.
In December, Slow Down with Rest and Reflection
Whether you celebrate holidays or not, something about the end of the year naturally invites pause. The days are shorter, and the body longs to rest.
Instead of filling every moment, what if you gave yourself permission to listen to that slower rhythm? Light a candle and savor your coffee. Watch the sky change colors at dawn and dusk. Take a walk without your phone or music and notice what is around you.
These small moments help your mind unwind and create space to process the year. Give yourself permission to release tension, restore focus, and refill your emotional reserves. Sometimes, joy is as simple as a restful nap—worthy of celebration in itself.
Rituals That Hold Us
Rituals are repeated actions that remind us to celebrate life, offer meaning, and foster a sense of belonging.
Here are some simple ideas:
Light a candle for someone you miss.
Bake a family recipe, even if it is just for yourself.
Decorate intentionally with an object that feels special or nostalgic.
Take a yearly “solo walk of reflection” and notice what has shifted since last year.
These small practices tell your mind and body that there is continuity, even in change.
Giving That Comes From the Heart
Gift-giving does not have to mean overextending your budget or filling your cart online. The most memorable gifts often tell a story, create a moment, or support the real people who make your community feel alive.
Here are a few thoughtful, low-cost (or low-ish cost) ideas that carry deep emotional weight:
Buy from a local maker or small shop. A handmade candle, locally roasted coffee, or a soap from a neighborhood artisan keeps your dollars close to home and adds a story to your gift.
Make a “comfort kit.” Fill a small box or basket with tea, a handwritten note, a pack of wildflower seeds, and maybe a thrifted mug. It is cozy, personal, and full of intention.
Gift a shared experience. Reserve time together for something simple and connective, like signing up for a local art night, a yoga class, or a volunteer shift as a duo. Presence often lands deeper than any object.
Share a favorite read. Gift a gently used book with a note inside about why it mattered to you. The personal connection transforms it from “used” to “loved.”
Create a sensory joy bundle. Gather small things that delight the senses, maybe a tiny jar of cinnamon, a sprig of rosemary, a smooth stone, or a printed photo from a beautiful place. Wrap it in cloth instead of paper for a touch of mindfulness.
Bake or cook something meaningful. If there is a recipe that says “home” to you, share it and pair it with a short note about where it came from or the memory behind it.
Plant a seed… literally. A small succulent, a propagated cutting, or even a bulb in a jar can become a living reminder of care and growth.
Spending meaningfully helps us orient to joy! Every local purchase, handmade item, or shared ritual is a form of quiet resistance against mass consumerism and reminds us that intimacy, not extravagance, is what actually nourishes us.
Orient Toward Joy
Joy does not cancel out hard emotions. It lives with them like sunlight breaking through clouds. The following practices can help you stay connected to that light without pretending everything’s fine:
Three-Moment Pause: Name one moment of ease, one of connection, and one of gratitude or meaning. Notice how this widens your emotional world.
Joy Jar: Jot down small joys like a shared experience, a smell, a sound, or a laugh, and put them in a jar. When things feel heavy, look back on them and remember easier times.
Permission Slip: Write “I have permission to rest,” or “I have permission to feel everything I feel.” Keep these notes visible.
Connection Ritual: Once a week, reach out to someone you care about in a way that feels doable via a voice note, a photo, or a short meet-up. Small threads weave a strong connection.
Release & Renewal: Light a candle, take a breath, and name something you are ready to set down before the new year begins. Identify what you want to fill the space that opens.
Moving Toward Light
Stay open to what’s real, honoring both the ache and the beauty of this season. There’s no need to pretend to feel merry all the time—let others see the authentic you.
Joy is found by noticing moments of goodness even amid difficult times.
If this season feels hard, you are not broken; you are human. And you deserve gentleness, connection, and space to feel everything that is true for you. Therapy can be one of those spaces where all your emotions, every single one, are safe to express.
